Recently I re-enabled several old email accounts, just to see if I had missed anything other than SPAM. I have recently began the steps to change my name for reasons I’ll discuss later, and had abandoned many old email addresses. I say many, because I use different addresses for newsletters, social sites, and personal contacts. I was surprised to receive an email, that I almost flagged as junk, from myself. Apparently in September 2003, I found a site called FutureMe, where I decided to email my future self.
Now a bit of background. In 2003, I had been divorced for three years, separated from my second fiancé, and had been laid off by a national drugstore chain after 15 years. I was currently working for national office supply chain. My divorce was due to my workaholism, and her infidelity. The separation from the fiancé was also due to her infidelity. I had just made the decision to stop dating for awhile, after a one-night stand turned into a very scary stalking situation. More on that at another time.
So the email I sent myself was influenced by these events. Last November on my birthday, which is when the email was set up to be sent, I received the following email from my past self:
Due to your continued lack of success, I’m curious. Are you still alone, or are you married with children yet? As it stands now, I don’t have much hope for you.
Turns out, I had reason to be cynical. After the stalking event, I stopped dating for a year. When I did start dating again, I became a serial dater. My thoughts were pretty much along the lines of: if women can’t commit, or stay sane, then I’ll just use them, and stay single. This is exactly what I’ve done for the last seven years.
So, yes, obviously this was a wake-up call from the past. An impetus to re-evaluate my situation, what I’ve accomplished, and where I’m going. I haven’t figured it all out yet, but this, along with other recent events in my life, have given me reason to change direction.
So, time to write a new letter on FutureMe, set maybe five years in the future, and maybe ask myself: “What have you accomplished?” and “Are you happier?” I wonder what my answer will be